We often say, “This person annoyed me” or “That person triggered me.” By doing so, we shift the cause of what is happening — our annoyance — to the outside. In that moment, we hand over responsibility and place it in someone else’s hands. The problem with this approach is that it blocks the path to resolution. For the state of being annoyed to end, the other person must do something — or better yet, stop doing something. We make ourselves dependent on a change that is out of our control.
