Sometimes I feel a little stuck. Often, there are just too many options, and I find myself examining each one carefully, wondering which I should choose. Do I go left or do I go right? Which path brings me closer to my goal?
I often catch myself getting distracted instead of just picking an option.
My days are quite similar: I wake up at 5 am, make my bed, meditate, and read. Then I have some cereal and go out for a run. And during the run, something happens: I start thinking. “Am I making the right decisions?” “Is the path I’m on the right one?” Gradually, doubts creep into my thoughts.
It wasn’t always like this. In 2007, I founded Kommune3 with a friend. We built websites. We did this even during our school days. We didn’t think too much and just followed our hobby.
It didn’t take long for us to land our first major projects, despite not having any significant references to show. We only had ourselves, our passion for building things, and the fundamental trust that things would somehow work out.
We decided to move in together and quickly found an apartment in Dortmund. We set up an official office, threw a wild housewarming party, and celebrated our successes. Everything was one big party.
Today, Kommune3 is 17 years old, and things are different. A house, two kids, responsibilities, and dependencies. I am 40 years old and have wondered for many years when I would actually become an adult. When you’re 12, 25-year-olds are adults. When you’re 20, 30-year-olds are adults. But then I turned 30 and realized I definitely wasn’t an adult.
Over time, responsibility creeps into your life, and successes can poison your thoughts because success always demands more success. If one thing goes well, the next thing also has to go well; otherwise, it feels like a failure.
It used to be different: if one thing didn’t work out, you moved on to the next. It wasn’t about achieving anything; it was just about doing.
The more often something worked, the greater the pressure for the next thing to work as well. And when something has to work, there’s no room for playfulness. Every decision is weighed carefully.
This is when perfectionism sneaks into your life. I believe everyone is a perfectionist because we all share the desire to do things as well as possible.
I think there are two types of perfectionists: those who don’t start something because they believe they can’t do it well enough, and those who start and realize that the process itself will lead them to a goal.
Instead of searching for the right thing to do, make what you do the right thing
When you do something, you have no control over how it will be received by others. Whether you make a video, record a podcast, or, like me here, write a text. I have no influence on whether this article is read by 5 or 50,000 people. The only influence I have is to write this text as well and as intensely as possible.
While writing this text, I catch myself thinking, “Is this really good?” I feel a lot of pressure to make this text perfect because my previous texts were well-received. It would feel like a step back if this text didn’t get as many clicks. So, I constantly have a voice in my head saying, “No, that’s not a good idea. It’s too simple, too banal,” etc.
But that’s exactly the story I want to tell. That there are constant ups and downs. After a flow comes being stuck. If only there were a way to make the process constant. To ensure that you could just implement something from start to finish like a straight line.
So, I find myself somewhere near the end of this text, and to be honest, I don’t feel entirely comfortable with it. It doesn’t feel right, and I feel like I can’t convey my thoughts well. But I’m sticking with it and writing on, and I hope you’re thinking at this point, “Okay, this is a good text, and I can see how the author is constantly struggling with himself, just as I do with everything I do.”
It takes courage to start something new. It takes even more courage to finish something. If you want to do something well, you can’t avoid confronting yourself and your fears. You can’t put on a cloak or a hard shell and get through it with full confidence. You can only be honest with yourself. Create appreciation for the process. Learn to understand that standing still and all doubts are part of it. Doubts are part of the process.
I’m at the end of this text. I’m thinking about what final sentence I could add. I want to encourage you to start your things. I want to tell you that the beginning itself is much more important than the result. That you should engage in the process, and that along with the highs, many lows await you. Get through them. Do your thing and learn to enjoy it. Yes, even the difficult things because they make us who we are. Human. Talk about it. Call a friend and tell her about your doubts. Write about your doubts and let people know that this is all a series of ups and downs.
Be brave and take the first step NOW!
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